Sista, I Ain’t Your Enemy

…and if you look at it, I’m more of an ally. I’ve noticed that working in ‘corporate America’ or in better words, working for a large corporation, the sistas that I encounter either love me or hate me. I’ve been doing this for almost 11 years now and aside from the black women that I’ve worked with who were standoffish, there were some who never looked at me, while there are quite a few, after a while who eventually turned into some of my closest friends.

You may be wondering why I am even taking the time to write this article since its human nature for people to act certain ways. At the end of the day, when I retire from work and reflect about all of the black women that I encounter in a day, I just want to tell the majority of them that “sista’, I am not your enemy’.

You see, there is just this one sista who I encounter on a daily basis who is quite rude to a lot of other sistas. It’s urban legend that she is rude because she is not confident in her skills and believes that women in general are a threat to her livelihood. I cannot confirm or deny this claim because she doesn’t allow me to get close enough to her to figure it out. The crazy part of this whole scenario is that she holds a position above mine and I have to engage with her multiple times a day to approve transactions or involve her I decisions that I make that may affect the company. When I speak to her, she gives me a cold stare and talks to me as if I am 5 years old. At first, I feel defeated that she takes this stance with me when I am only doing my job…I then return to my desk in retrospect…while holding my tongue…and realize that this is a complement in disguise. If she feels threatened by me, and the urban legend is true, then I must be something else. Sometimes when she attempts to talk crazy to me knowing I will give her a little sass back, but not fight with her in order to keep my sanity and my job, in the back of my head, I just keep telling her “sista, I ain’t your enemy”. I want the best for you because at the end of the day, we have the same struggle.

A few days ago, I walked past a lady that I’ve worked with for almost a decade that I never spoke two words to. I smiled at her to acknowledge her existence and she kept her eyes straight ahead to avoid eye contact. Immediately, I felt awkward and kept going. “Sista, I am not your enemy.” I’ve noticed a few women who do the same thing but sometimes when I am in my element and doing my own thing, I see them looking at me. They know that I’m there…I know that they are there yet we never speak. When we mistakenly join eyes, they will look above my head or at my knees, when I smile, they act busy when they were never busy before and in retrospect I often wonder if we are taught to act this way with each other. By all means, I am not looking to make friends but when you are approximate with other people, there are times when you need to exchange pleasantries to keep the peace. When there are awkward exchanges between each other at random times of the day, you end up feeling awkward in your space, and that is not what I’m trying to do 8 hours a day.

I do my best, I try to be pleasant. I attempt to be nice. My inner introvert is forced out of me so I can feel comfortable with the people who I expect to understand me more than anyone else. I start to wonder why we act this way toward each other.
“When I first saw you, I thought you were strange” she laughed.
“You always had a different way of dressing and carrying yourself. When you big chopped we didn’t like the look…then your hair grew back pretty.”
“Who is we?” even though I knew who we were. I already knew about the secret sorority that didn’t know a thing about me but who knew everything about me. Because I was different from what they thought I should be, they restricted themselves until I did something that unified us and made us friends.

Sistas, I am not your enemy. You are not my enemy. We are not enemies. We have to be allies. Just because another woman does something that you do not or look a certain way that you do not agree with does not mean you cannot live in harmony with her. Respect begins with you. Our lack of respect for each other makes our interactions awkward; it makes us remove ourselves from the very fabric that makes us unique.

I’m not asking for us to be perfect because I know it is human nature for us to be faulty but what I do believe we need to do is regard and acknowledge other women. Respect other women and accept other women. If there is another woman who can do something better than you can, then work harder to do better for yourself. Do not belittle someone or make them feel less than because internally you feel like you will lose your place. If you feel like you are not doing enough, do more. Make it a point to do better for yourself because when you do better for yourself, you do better for us.

If you think someone is different and you do not like the difference, respect the difference. We are all different for a reason. I know this may sound elementary, but if we were all the same flavor and did the same things and looked the same way, then how plain would this world be? We are all different backgrounds, shapes, sizes, colors, ethnicities because we were created that way. We need to respect how we were created and use that respect to include people who are different than us. There is something that you need to learn from the person that your are excluding, they also need to learn something from you. Do not block your blessings because you do not understand someone. Let those blessings in and allow that experience to help you grow into a better person.

The interactions that I shared were of people that I interact with every day, but I’ve noticed that sistas act this way toward each other everywhere: Social Media, Work, School, Clicks. As black women, we need to understand that our struggle is not singular–even though we are unique–we share the same stigma, we have to walk through the same journey, and we are stereotyped the same way. As women, we need to realize that the way we treat other women is a reflection on how we feel about ourselves. If we disrespect each other then we do not have any self-respect. It’s plain and simple.

“Sista, I am not your enemy”. In fact, I am you. In this huge world with dynamic people and unique pockets of cultures, our reflection of each other mirrors how we reflect ourselves to other groups. I love my sistas. I love every curl, every kink, every nap. I love our passion, our sense, our strength. I love our sass, our accomplishments, our stories. I love our light skin, our brown skin, our ebony skin. I love our noses, our faces, our hands, our broad lips and wide hips. I love my sistas because I love myself. I love myself because I love my sistas. So girl, stop actin’ funny with me because I am not your enemy. I love you despite all of our flaws. I love you because plain and simple, you are my sista and there is no me without you.


Until Next Time

What I’m currently listening to:

So, I Haven’t Been Doing Anything With My Hair


That’s right.  I haven’t.  I’ve been wearing my hair in a protective style under weaves and wigs.  I only decided to do that because I wanted straight hair without actually straightening my hair.  I am looking at some braid styles to roll out the end of the year with.  I am just very picky about braiders because a lot of people that I’ve spoken with have had issues with stylists braiding too tightly!

If I do decide on a braid style, I will let you know.

I’ve also been working a lot lately.  When I get home, I take care of a puppy and I am also looking to obtain my teaching certification.  Last weekend, Halloween, was my birthday of course.  I wanted to share with you guys what I did for my birthday as well as what I did to my hair for the weekend.

Friday evening, my one of my best friends and I had dinner at Don’s Seafood.  We had Flounder, which was awesome.  I wore my hair in this style and I have to say, I enjoyed a new look!


I also enjoyed bread pudding and a Peach Bellini, which was awesome.  I forgot how great Don’s Seafood is in Downtown Lafayette, and I will be writing a review about the service and food of that location on my Zomato and Trip Advisor accounts!


This Peach Bellini was not too sweet, not too dull…awesome.


This is why I love Bread Pudding!

That same evening, I received an awesome present from one of my closest friends who knows me well.  I’d been eying this book down for about a month now but never ordered it through Amazon because I would get busy and forget.  To my surprise, I didn’t have to worry about it.  “The Sisters Are Alright: Changing the Broken Narrative of Black Women in America” by Tamara Winfrey Harris is a book that I’ve been waiting for a long time!

It takes stereotypes that have been following Black Women since our introduction to this country through the Atlantic Slave trade and breaks down these stereotypes into myths.  This book not only shows the beauty, diversity, and complexity of black women, it debunks the myth that black women can only be categorized into blunt and blatant categories despite what the media, a conservative consensus, or black men say. I shows that we, as black women, are dynamic, diverse and engaging.  I’ve only completed half of the book, but will review it in a later post.



When I arrived to work Saturday, to my surprise, my coworkers had a cake made for me. It was deliciously awesome and I am forever grateful to their appreciation.  This, of course threw my whole weekend diet into a funk, because right after, I had hibachi and sushi at my favorite hibachi restaurant, Shinto. I of course, had to show off my new hair style because it was so much different from my normal look. Do I love it? Of course… Will I keep it? No.


here I am afraid that I will have a Michael Jackson incident with all of these flames in my face at the hibachi table!


I love the straight hair look, but for this winter coming up, as I stated earlier, braids are definitely an option. After years of working with my natural hair, I needed a break…so I am about to consult with my stylist and see which long term protective style can work for me. He did suggest a sew in, which seems like an option, but I’ve never done that before, so I am concerned how my hair would react to being in a sew in style for a month.


So, what do you guys think of me in straight hair?

We will see.

I will let you guys know what my next style is and hopefully have photos with a post about the experience…What do you think about this current style that I sported for last weekend? Do you have any suggestions for a protective style for me?

Until Next Time…

What I’m currently listening to:

Naturalista Spotlight: Kerdisha St.Louis from the KS Chronicles


It’s time for another Naturalista Spotlight and I am happy to share Kerdisha with you.  She is the author of the blog and vlog: theKSChronicles and is gorgeous!  Please follow her blog, vlog or follow her on social media and spread some love.  I hope that you enjoy the interview!

My name is Kerdisha St.Louis, hailing from the nature isle of the Caribbean, Dominica.

Any Shoutouts you want to give?  Shout out to Dominica #irep767


Why did you decide to wear your hair natural?
Going natural was something I decided to do in college. I was all about discovering myself and loving myself for who I am so embracing my natural hair felt right at that time. I made the decision early 2013.

Do you have any natural hair stories that you want to share?
One of the best memories i have of my hair was when my boyfriend ( who was skeptical at first) started randomly playing in my hair one day and said ‘i like it this way’. It really made me feel good because he liked my relaxed hair lol.


How did you educate yourself about natural hair?
I googled and  youtubed and pinterested the heck out of natural hair lol.

What type of routine do you follow?
My hair regimen is pretty simple. Every two weeks or so I detangle my hair with a cheap shampoo and plain old water put it in large loose two strand twists and cleanse my scalp. I do this with diluted sulfate free shampoo then I will rinse everything out and do a deep condition for an hour with either hair mayonnaise or Giovanni Direct Deeper Moisture Conditioner depending on what I think my hair needs. After a brief session in an old tee-shirt to absorb most of the water ill moisturize with Giovanni Direct Leave in conditioner, add a light oil such as sweet almond oil or Jaydee’s Naturals Whipped Shea Butter from my friend Jodie. After this I let my hair dry in braids to stretch it out and proceed to style for the week after it has dried to about 95%. I will moisturize during the week with my mix of or Giovanni Direct, water and aloe vera juice and seal with either an oil or whipped shea butter. At night i always try to go to bed in my satin bonnet.


What are your favorite hair products?
Giovanni direct leave in and deeper moisture conditioner and shea butter

Do you have any advice for our new naturals?
keep going. although it may get hard and frustrating all the challenges will be worth it in the end. it does get easier.


Do you have any regrets?
Once I trimmed my hair with a pair of scissors that were not for hair cutting… BIG mistake, I cut off wayy to much hair. Lesson learned.


How can we follow you and your hair?

I do have a blog its where I write about hair,makeup, diys and more.
You can also find me these places:

twitter: @thekschronicles

Instagram: @thekschronicles IMG_1097

FB:  @thekschronicles

YouTube: @thekschronicles

Pinerest: @thekschronicles



These Are a Few of My Favorite Things…(Summer Edition)


Last week while I was at work, a new natural asked me about this blog.  She wanted to know if I ever posted favorites and wanted to know what my favorite items were for hair and beauty.  I’ve only done it once because my favorites are very consistent.  I thought about her request though, and realized that I have been using a lot of new items that I love that replaced some of my old favorites.  I thought I would sit here tonight and share some of my summer favorites with you guys and get some of your opinions on these items as well.




You already know a lot of my hair favorites.  I love the conditioning creme from Renpure Organics and have been a die hard fan of it since I first purchased it.  It has simplified my whole wash/conditioning routine and added with a little Apple Cider Vinegar (which is a favorite that is not pictured), my hair thrives on wash day.  I never have issues with excessive shed, breakage or detangling.  This product is a keeper.

Castor Oil is also one of my all time favorite hair products.  My hair adores it and eats it up wet or dry.  Since the use of my Castor Oil and Vatika Oil tag team, my hair has become thicker and fuller and more manageable.  A little of this product goes a long way.  Of course, I am out of Vatika Oil, which is another favorite…that’s why it is not pictured.


All of my favorites in my hair at the same time…also wearing a few of my makeup favorites with Ruby Woo by Mac on my lips.

Can you tell I love the Leave In Conditioner from Mixed Chicks?  I do.  It smells awesome and works beautifully in my hair.   My curls are moisturized and pop when I use this leave in.  I had to get the sample size because I used up my other bottle…I will be heading to Target later this week though!

…and last but not least, I love spritzing some rose water and glycerin in my hair when it’s extra dry.  The smell is very pretty and the glycerin and rose water mix keeps my hair and skin so moisturized.



I was turned on to Lancome a few years ago by one of my good friends Amy.  She swore by their products and when I visited a Sephora in Paris, I left with a bag full of Lancome sample goodies.  Since then, I fell in love with their beauty, fragrance and skin care products.  My current favorite from Lancome is the Dual Finish in Suede 555 (C).  The lighting in my house made it look warm, but because of my neck area, cooler color foundations/powders work well with my complexion.  Since it’s hot and humid in Louisiana, I wear this when I want little coverage or when I want to make my foundation matte…which is my other favorite item: the Teint Idole Ultra 24H in Suede 555 (C).  This foundation is all that and then some.  I cannot in express to you how much I love the finish of this foundation on my skin, how it looks so natural and beautiful and matte and lasts throughout my entire workday.  These two items will be my staple from now on.  LOL.  They just look soo good on me.  LOL.


My face using the Dual Finish in Suede 555 (C) and matte lip stick from Kat Von D with a little highlight around my Cupids Bow.

I’m trying not to make this post solely about Lancome, but their products have been some of my favorites for a long time.  I picked up the Youthful Radiance Advanced Genifique Regimen Set which includes the Advanced GÉNIFIQUE Youth Activating Concentrate, the GÉNIFIQUE EYE Youth Activating Eye Concentrate, and the CRÈME RADIANCE Clarifying Cream-to-Foam Cleanser.  The CRÈME Radiance works so well and removing dirt and oil from my skin.  I love it sooo much and use it in the morning and evenings when I am removing my make up.  I also noticed that the dark puffiness under my eyes is starting to slowly fade away after using the GÉNIFIQUE EYE Youth Activating Eye Concentrate.  I love them all.  My skin is soo even and looks awesome.  When I leave the house without makeup on, I don’t feel the need to have any because I feel like my skin looks good.  I’ve even gotten complements about my natural skin from plenty of people after using these products.  They are very much my favorites and will stay in my bag indefinitely.  LOL.

becca…and of course, I cannot live without my Becca Beach Tints.  I got a few of them for my birthday and Christmas last year and they have been a die-hard staple in my makeup routine.  I love the subtle flush of color that they give to my lips and cheeks on days where I want a more natural look.  I pair this with a light application of the Dual Finish from Lancome, a not so light application of the Definicils Mascara and a thin stroke of black eyeliner and I have the perfect soft and natural look.

Other Beauty Faves:

IMG_1365If any of you follow me on Instagram or Facebook…or even Twitter for that matter, you know that I hand make my own Soaps.  I know exactly what my skin needs so I usually make formulations to combat some of the skin problems that I’ve consistently suffered from.  I also love making my own soaps because it gives me a creative outlet to make something that I can share with others, sell or gift.  I love this particular bar that I created because it has Golden Seal, Chai, honey, Patchouli, Rose Water and Glycerin…and of course Shea Butter.  These are all of my favorite things wrapped in one bar…and it feels so decadent when I use it.



Ok…so I said that I wouldn’t make this post all about Lancome, but my two all time favorite fragrances are from this company.  I love the fresh scent of Miracle.  This has quickly become one of my all time favorite fragrances.  When I wear this or La Nuit Tresor, my other favorite fragrance from Lancome, I get tons of complements.  I think I love La Nuit Tresor so much because of the Patchouli.  LOL.

naked manicure

…and last but not least…I won this Naked Manicure Professional Set from Zoya on Twitter a few weeks ago, and since then, I’ve fallen in love.  My nails are in such an awesome condition after using this set and I can verify the claims that this product “…provides intense therapeutic, long term benefits for stronger, healthier nails.” I love the Naked colors and the color correction that they provide.  The colors last a full week without chipping and you cannot even tell because they are truly ‘Naked’.  I’ve been looking for a more natural looking manicure for my nails for times when I do not feel like the bright reds, blues or greens that I sometimes tend to rock.  I’ve been embracing a more natural look lately and this set came right on time!

I hope that you enjoyed my favorites.  I know that I enjoy them everyday.  LOL.  I am a beauty junkie and collected tons of cosmetics, skin care items and hair care products.  These are the ones that I consistently go to and they give me a feeling of satisfaction when I spend my money on them and use them…LOL…so naturally, I had to crown them as my Summer favorites!  ♥

Until Next Time…

What I’m Currently Listening to…


Guest Blogger Post: PERCEPTION vs REALITY

In this photo taken Tuesday, April 21, 2009, sixth-graders Adam Honore, right, and Isaiah Stanton write about the federal stimulus package in their personal finance class at Ariel Community Academy on Chicago's South Side. The sixth-graders in this class may be brand-new to bear markets and have a hard time pronouncing "diversification." But they have a wealth of knowledge to share about how to survive the meltdown of the stock market and the economy. (AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast)

You all know that I love posts from guest bloggers.  Today, I will be sharing a post from one of my favorite male feminists: Robert Isaac.  He had somethings he wanted to share with you guys and upon completing my first review of the article, I knew that you would enjoy.  I hope that you read with an open mind and motivated heart: 


We know that the deck has been stacked against us for as long as we have been in this country. We know that the value placed on the lives of people of color, in this country, is minimal at best. Two sets of rules have long been the standard when it comes to interpreting the rule of law: for these reasons, it is imperative that WE stop worrying about the latest shoe that’s coming out, the hottest song on the radio, the latest drama on the Real Housewives…the list goes on and on. We have to focus on the things that will actually make a difference for us: EDUCATION… In addition to working to elect politicians who have a sense of what the needs of African-Americans are, we need to actively prepare our youth to become these politicians. Instead of steering clear of police officers, we should be preparing our kids to go to the police academy. Instead of fearing the practices of judges who legislate from the Bench, we should steer our kids to an undergraduate degree in criminal justice, and motivate them to go on to law school to become the next generation of lawyers…and then the next generation of judges. We have to put an end to the way people perceive us by showing respect for ourselves. Pull your pants up! Speak clearly and intelligently. Promote the good being done by people who look like you instead of spreading the negative things that happen. The news does enough of that for us.

I know that not everyone has the financial means to go on to college, but that isn’t the only avenue to pursue higher learning. For those of us who have been fortunate enough to grace the halls of an institution of higher learning, it is our responsibility to spread that information to anyone who will listen. We have no right to withhold this information from our neighbor who wasn’t able to go to college. At the same time, we have no right to waste our time waiting on other people to do things for us. If you stand by and do nothing to make things better for us as a whole, then you are just as responsible for the dismal conditions and the continued faux perception placed on us as those who are actively trying to make the world see us in this light. No, you won’t be able to do it alone. But if you reach out to a few people who are undoubtedly in your circle of friends who could benefit from your knowledge and each of your friends did the same, then it won’t be long before you notice that everyone close to you will be in a better situation on some level.

The “trial” of George Zimmerman in Florida should shine a spotlight on “perception vs reality”. The perception of “us” was on full display by the defense attorneys throughout the case, it was on display on news channels like FOX News, and it was on full display via Conservative talk radio. Instead of making the case focus on Zimmerman, they successfully put Travon Martin on trial as if he was to blame for his own death…And they won because the perception of what a black person is all about in this country overruled what we as African-Americans know to be the reality…no matter what “Reality TV” suggests. Mike Brown in Ferguson, MO was portrayed in the same manner. Conservatives often suggested that Mike’s death was his own fault and immediately pointed to his actions BEFORE he had even encountered the police officer in the street. The reality is that what matters is what happened while he was in the officer’s presence. Unfortunately, perception won the day. Conservative talking heads in the media are doing the very same thing with Sandra Bland. It has even been suggested that her refusal to put out a cigarette was the catalyst for the escalation of events on the day she was pulled over for a traffic violation. The perception is that she was non-compliant, when in reality, the police officer overstepped his boundaries, violated the public trust, and used his lawful authority in an illegal manner. While we have been, and continue to be, wronged in our supposed just society, we must also look inward to whole-hardheartedly change the perception of how we are viewed for the sake of our friends and families.

Our lives, and our children’s lives, are literally at stake.

Robert Isaac